My lip gloss smells like whores

Denira’s friend: “Put some lipstick on and we’ll take a picture”

Denira (takes out lip gloss): “All I have is this whore lip gloss”

Denira’s other friend: “Oooh, what does it smell like?”

Denira (applying the lip gloss): “Whores”

I’m still trying to figure out what whores smell like. But if you’re interested, my lip gloss did smell like cherries. While I recall that mildly inebriated post book club discussion with a smile, it got me thinking about using the word whore, or more to the point, calling other women whores. And let’s for a minute also include gangster rap tool version of “hoe” in this as well. If you’re interested, here’s what defines as a “hoe”.

Never since Joseph Hoe invent the gardening implement has it received such worldwide attention

The last one “Your daddy is a hoe” reads poetically to me, it talks of useful father, a father who is not afraid to get his hands dirty, but I digress.

I guess I have no issue with the word if you associate no real meaning to it. Like my whore lip gloss, it was not distilled from whore essence and wearing it did not provide me with a strong desire to solicit sex for money. But I suppose my issue comes in when we call women who we deem to be promiscuous, who have many male friends, who dress sexily, a whore. It’s the callous judgement behind that word that frustrates me, it’s the supposed shamefulness of female sexuality that piques me. We are all sexual beings and what a woman does in her bedroom (or on the kitchen counter or at the back row of the movie theatre) does not necessarily make her a whore. Apologies to all the legit whores who are just trying to make a living, that is your title, you should wear it with pride, the rest of us fakes don’t do the word justice.

It irks me that we teach young girls that it’s shameful to have more than one partner. Be safe, always respect yourself and always be with someone who respects you- isn’t that a better message? And as adults, we constantly do this to other women. Women sexier than we are, prettier than we are, women who get promoted instead of us, are too readily labelled a whore. Just let that women even laugh in the direction of a man and our suspicions are confirmed! “Did you see her laughing with him?” whispered so conspiratorially that she may have well been on her knees before him instead.

With this level of judgement, I wonder is there a law, or a rule maybe, regarding how many men you can be intimate with before you are classified as a “whore”? Maybe you should be able to count your past lovers on the fingers of one hand? But what if you have small hands (size does matter)? And does a thumb count as a finger? These rules come with all sorts of unforeseen consequences and complications so I wonder if it would be best to rather save the judgement for someone more qualified (if you are so inclined, perhaps god- any god will do).

Published by Denira Varma

I am, if nothing else, a perfect example of the dichotomy that exists in every one of us. I seek adventure, yet I long the grace of long days spent reading in a quiet treed spot. I am hedonistic but pragmatic. I long to create yet I burden myself with thoughts that I am not worthy. I started this blog to share part of me, my thoughts and experiences.

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