A three-step Staffy readiness programme

Almost two years ago, my fat piglet of a dog (yes that makes sense to me) Lola first entered this world and knowing Lola, I think she made a fuss of that first appearance. She has a dusty coating of brown in her otherwise black hair, expressive ears that appear overexaggerated and she, like herContinue reading “A three-step Staffy readiness programme”

Blowing the budget on books

“Second hand books are wild books, homeless books; they have come together in vast flocks of variegated feather, and have a charm which the domesticated volumes of the library lack.” Virginia Woolf I have a problem. A BIG problem. There I’ve said it and they do say that admitting that you have a problem is theContinue reading “Blowing the budget on books”

Tattoos and time machines

Every time I undress in front of my gran (which is not that frequent- I don’t just go around removing my clothes in front of others willy nilly), she has the same reaction “You have those things all over your body! Doesn’t it hurt to put that thing on your body?” My gran is almostContinue reading “Tattoos and time machines”

Barefoot beers and a bromance

Our waitress walks towards us carrying a shoe. Well she’s actually holding the laces of a shoe and trying unsuccessfully to stifle a laugh. She stops at our table and says “If you drink this beer you will have to give me your shoe”. I glance at my semi consumed beer in it’s golden gloryContinue reading “Barefoot beers and a bromance”

My lip gloss smells like whores

Denira’s friend: “Put some lipstick on and we’ll take a picture” Denira (takes out lip gloss): “All I have is this whore lip gloss” Denira’s other friend: “Oooh, what does it smell like?” Denira (applying the lip gloss): “Whores” I’m still trying to figure out what whores smell like. But if you’re interested, my lipContinue reading “My lip gloss smells like whores”

Maybe baby, maybe last night’s pizza

It seems to me that if you are woman of a certain age, some questions are almost unavoidable. It amuses/frustrates/annoys me how even strangers are often of the belief that details of my person life should be available for their consumption. The usual question that I’ve been fielding for the last couple of years isContinue reading “Maybe baby, maybe last night’s pizza”

Who died at my wedding?

Am I the only person who is more than just a little perturbed by how weird most wedding speeches are? I’ve attended wedding after wedding where speeches consist of a strange but predictable formula; a list of previous accomplishments (academic, climbing the corporate ladder, being great at taking selfies or whatever the kids are doingContinue reading “Who died at my wedding?”

5 reasons why I’d never get a Kindle

Okay, before you tell me all the reasons why I’m nuts and how I can easily have access to a plethora of books at my finger tips and how it’s antiquated to carry around books, let me forewarn you that my mother did say I was special. I am that “special” kind of special whoContinue reading “5 reasons why I’d never get a Kindle”